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[02 Aug 2009|09:15pm] |
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Hi. So it seems like much longer than eight weeks since ive been here. I think it's more that so much has happened in such a short time, that short time, that it seems longer. Anyways, life is kind if a selfinduced headache. I stress myselfout too much. I keep saying, 'you know how when you graduate high school people ask you 'where do you see yourself in five years?' well that's almost here.' and I think it's hitting me a little hard. A bunch of bullshit went down at the salon and it kind of turned my world upside down. Tbc lata
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[02 Jun 2009|11:10pm] |
hi livejournal. i kind of miss you. things are different than they were 16 weeks ago..
i do not feel the need to elaborate currently.
i twitter a lot now. i dont have a home. my job is good, but the same basically. ummmm. yes. i guess i decided to elaborate a bit. thats it tho. byyyyeeee.
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[10 Feb 2009|05:43pm] |
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It's almost been a year and going back to read how I was feeling a year ago really brought me down just now, but at the same time made me really appreciate how much better my head is now. My heart is still broken but it's much less severe than it was. Focusing on the positive.
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[29 Jan 2009|09:22am] |
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sooo I can't believe it's 2009, reading shot I wrote in 2006, like it was yesterday when I wrote it. Time flysss man. My cat is getting some shots today and he is really cute, even tho his mood swings are getting a little intense. I have short short hair that kinda looks like a mullet right now but that's easily fixed. I'm still working at daniel and co. building up a nice little business for myself. I need a car and have no desire to spend my travel savings on one. Or to have a new bill every month. I dunno man I'm thinking maybe I should invest in a scooter or something, I just get so damn cold so easily. I dunno we'll see what happens
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[04 Nov 2008|10:09pm] |
ahhh!!!!!
so i know he's an amazing speaker, and so good at saying what everyone wants to hear, but that speech was beautiful, and i can only hope that he means even half of what he said tonight. i feel like im a pretty good judge of people and i only have good feelings about the future of the next four years of our country. i mean, this is the closest ive come to patriotism in at least 7 years so that at least has to say something, plus feeling the hope millions of people are feeling along with me is enough to put me in an amazing mood. heres hoping for change! but real change not stupid government bullshit inching change..
:D
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[29 Oct 2008|01:35am] |
ribs is the name of my new kitten.
he's not really mine, he's kims, but the roommates have taken him in like our own, and i cant imagine life without him now.
he's pretty fucking cute. i mean, i got people who dont even like kittens who love him.
anyways, he just fell asleep on me and now i need to get up and go to bed. typical.
i hope you night has ended so adorably. i doubt it tho.
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[08 Oct 2008|10:53pm] |
livejournal. ive had an internet journal foreverrrrrr. first a deadjournal. then a melo. then i came to livejournal back in 04. and i just read a bunch of my very first posts. brought me wayyy back.
things have changed in four years thats for sure.
i miss the outlook i had on life. i feel like i had so much more to be excited about back then, even if it was over nothing.
i mean, there are things about my life now that are way better too but, i dont know. reminiscing.. scattered brains. i miss getting excited over things like boys talking to me instead of things like vegas trips and having a week of work off or having all my bills paid at once. i dont know. i dont wanna get old and comfortable. im getting way to comfortable with monotony.
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[19 Jul 2008|09:39pm] |
ummm. yeah. ive been going out a LOT.
and working a lot and very little on and off.
send me clients!
i need to find out where our mailbox is at home.
and take a shower. after working 8-6, then lots of fried heaven at zoobies, im feeling all kinds of greasy.
also, katt williams fucking kills.
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[26 Mar 2008|09:59am] |
my uncle is battling a type of bone cancer right now, he was just diagnosed a few months ago but it is just the beginning of a long and very hard battle for someone who is used to being very active. anyways, ive been reading his blog and its so inspirational to see his mindset through the whole thing. he is a beautiful person, the worst things always happen to the best ones. so here is his most recent entry i wanted to share with whoever still reads this, we need to not take our time for granted.
Yesterday was perfect. One of those spring days that makes the Lotus Coloma valley simply one of the most beautiful places on the face of the earth. Mount Murphy is blanketed with California poppies and there are wildflowers out everywhere you look. The Live Oaks and Black Oaks are budding out new leaves that glow in an almost fluorescent green. The air temperature was about 75; perfect riding temperature and the river was up to about 2500 cfs which is a perfect play level. If you live in the valley you know what I mean. If you don't please disregard everything you've read. All there are here is angry hillbillies and trash heaps. It is a desolate wasteland that is much too far from the shopping malls and Starbucks and there is never "anything happening."
It seems not so long ago that a day like this would be all I would need for an excuse to get out and enjoy. Somewhere along the way things like paying mortgages and health care bills, meeting deadlines and closing deals became more important. Now I see the error in my way. The fact is that we are all living on a finite schedule and at the end I am going to measure our life not in the things that I have acquired or the amount of money I have made but in the experiences I have had and the differences I have made in other peoples lives. I can not make a difference in someone else's life unless I am centered. The way that I get centered is to enjoy perfect moments. Days like yesterday and today are so conducive that perfect moment that there should be NO excuse not to get out and enjoy them.
You may be reading this right now and thinking yeah sounds good but I a have got to do XYZ thing or else blah blah blah. Well you may be right but I would encourage you to ask yourself what will really happen if you take the day or the afternoon or morning off? I mean really what would happen? There is someone willing to watch your kids or do a trade with you. Your clients will either not know or understand that you need to take some time for "personal issues." Your work will not bust you for taking a sick day. I can guarantee that all that crap that you are working on will still be there when you get back and the only difference is that you will be refreshed and ready to go to work instead of surfing over to the puddin' cyclist to see what I am rambling about what you watch the clock tick down til quitting time.
So call your friends, make a plan and get out and enjoy. While you still can. Go race each other up prospector before sunset. Go paddle chili bar and hike up and sit in the poppies and feel the warmth soak into your cold body. Go for a hike with the kids and the dogs at Cronin Ranch. Go up the hill for one last slush session at Sierra at Tahoe. Go take the boat out on the lake for an early season ski session. Go out and whack the ball. Sit under your favorite oak tree, contemplate and meditate. Run the Monroe Ridge trail. Go ahead, I give you permission. Your spouse will understand. The people around you will appreciate it because you will mellow out a bit and god knows you need it.
Do this and I promise you this, you will be happier and better for it, and you will feel better than those who choose not to do it.
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[09 Mar 2008|06:01pm] |
blahhhhh
i have been compensating.
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[28 Feb 2008|12:47pm] |
my baby cousin passed away early saturday, the closest thing i had to a sister. please come to this, i dont care if you knew her or not, it would mean a lot to me.
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[25 Jan 2008|09:55am] |
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regarding that last post, all turned out for the best. my windshield wipers and broken and no one calls me back when they say they are going to anymore so i have been somewhat of a hermit lately. but my car is shinier than ever and has a new oil change, so when it stops raining (they say this is the most its rained in the past four years) it'll be good to go. its my day off and i am doing my taxes (for the past four years) today, or going to attempt to. obviously its failed in the past but im hoping maybe ill be able to comprehend what i didnt before or at least have the patience to figure it out. im reading a new book 'a heartbreaking work of staggering genius' by david eggers and its really good but i cant help but think of other things while im reading it. im almost done though, i dont need any excuse to dwell on unhappy thoughts as of late. my hair is getting longer, i love love the short but i cant wait for it to be long again, where i can matte it up and twirl it at my shoulder and be a big dirtbag again. but its already been 4 months or so and ive still got a good couple of years to go, so dont worry too much haha
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| e.e. cummings |
[09 Jan 2008|07:15pm] |
if you cant eat you got to
smoke and we aint got
nothing to smoke:come on kid
lets go to sleep
if you cant smoke you got to
sing and we aint got
nothing to sing; come on kid
lets go to sleep
if you cant sing you got to
die and we aint got
nothing to die,come on kid
lets go to sleep
if you cant die you got to
dream and we aint got
nothing to dream(come on kid
lets go to sleep)
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| wewontstoptilsomebodycallsthecops&eventhenwellstartagain&justpretendthatnothingeverhappened |
[31 Dec 2007|10:14am] |
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well today is my 21st birthday. so far it has been filled with good music, mamosas, and a happy heart. im glad i dont have a number holding me back anymore. the past few days have been filled with lots of little ups and downs. i had my work christmas party last night, and bridgette's 21st birthday the night before. a few of the people who i have known longer than anyone else and those i consider so close to me have been very disappointing lately, and though i still love them for the friend they were at one point in my life, its hard to realize that sometimes peoples priorities dont include you. even if you try and make the effort to show them so much love. oh well, that is life, no? its hard to give yourself away but the ups are worth the downs, and we should all remind ourselves of that daily. im looking forward to a day filled with friends, food, family, and boooooooze. but not too much of course, we dont want me falling asleep at 5pm or anything, and we all know how that goes haha. my mamosa is already making me a little giggly, so sorry if this doesnt make too much sense. i look forward to a year of productivity! i am putting my name on the books at work, which means more work, more clients, more moolah. i have been getting lots of positive feedback from my work and it has boosted my confidence to a level that im ready to get going with my career. and im moving out! march 1st casey's apartment has got a room open, and i have gotten so close to this girl in the past few months and i really think we will be good living together. ive never lived with girls besides my mom and my dads girlfriends before but i really have high hopes. and im going to have a bed again! its only been like 5 months or so but it was longer than i expected during my neurotic, last minute move. my mom just gave me my birthday presents and they were so good! and im so happy to see all the people i love later today! happy new year to everyone i love you all so much, please be safe and happy.
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[13 Dec 2007|02:11pm] |
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positivity has been surrounding me non-stop. i love it when the people i love are happy.
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[02 Dec 2007|10:29pm] |
i just saw the most beautiful, awe-inspiring film, baraka.
you should see it too. and you should get really stoned.
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[22 Oct 2007|06:35pm] |
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halloween is 9 days away and i have no idea what to be!
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[18 Sep 2007|10:44am] |
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uh-oh. distractions.
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[24 Aug 2007|05:16pm] |
ay yi yi
that was quite an angry post about insurance back there.
i had just woken up from a nap and the first thing i see is two bills, noot my favorite thing.
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[22 Aug 2007|08:20am] |
so the time has come, to let go of this vanity, this mop, this wonderful, sometimes disgusting head of hair that has been with me for my entire life.
its never been shorter than just at my shoulders. EVER! since i was a baby!
but soon it will be almost all gone. so get in some time while you still can.
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